phione:

if i pause my music to listen to your audio post it better be fucking good

thethrillofit:

im a BIT of a history nerd *puts a hand on my hip, puts on my glasses, cracks open an encyclopedia* did you know obama is the president 

burningthesouffles:

joecroucher:

Balloons are so weird… “happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”

i give you air from my lungs

darbesaurus:

whorville:

My only talent is breathing

I said this to my mom and she just said “you have asthma, moron”